The Zahir

Zahir - (za-heer, n)- It is someone (or something) which, once we have come into contact with them (or it), gradually occupies every thought.**

He had always said he believes in love at first sight. Keun Seuk reminisces this fact and the many times he's announced it on national television during his early days as an actor. And he silently laughs at himself how things have turned around. These days he just says that he believes in love. Period.

On the plane back to Korea from his Singapore Fan Meet, he watches the personal video he made as his souvenir of a great time. But it is not Singapore nor his shrieking Eels he remembers. Because now no matter what he does, it is Shin Hye on his mind. His personal videos are proof of that. Actually, what his fans, Manager Jun and the rest of the world don't know is that the videos he takes are not for him, but for the girl he left back home. He holds that digicamcorder everywhere as if walking down the same street with her. He holds the camcorder so preciously as it carries with it not only new memories he makes but anticipation for how she will react to them. You see, she will be the first one to watch these videos upon his return so he makes sure to capture as many highlights he could. So she will feel as if she was right there with him, like how he feels when he shoots these scenes. And from time to time when he shows his fans those personal videos unedited, they will get a glimpse of the truth, as almost always Shin Hye's name will pop out of nowhere in his video voiceovers. "You look like Park Shin Hye. Sing it. Go Mi Nam." he said in one scene as they went out to eat with his manager and staff -- providing bait for his fans akin to his intriguing answer in that interesting interview in Singapore, "Who knows?"

So, for that red-eye 6-hour long flight to Seoul, he let his mind wander and form bits and pieces of moments he shared with the girl he can't stop thinking about.

~~~<<~~~<<<~~~

"This is where Keun Seuk and Oppa and I met by fate" declared Shin Hye as she recollects their first meeting for Etude House.

Keun Seuk found her plain then but that intimate contact with her for that CF could have literally changed things for him. He remembered that Etude House was not their first meeting. They had met way before for a variety show. But for some reason his mind doesn't register her as a significant person. At least then, not yet. Boy, did he know how this girl will transform his world and his views on relationships, love, life and everything in between. She was nervous. It was their first encounter as spokesmodels for the cosmetics brand and it does not help that they have to share a kiss. Little did he know that it will be the first of many kisses between them - stolen, scripted. And for a first kiss, it was memorable.

~~~<<~~~<<<~~~

Manager Jun tells him that the success of their Etude House pairing lands him the lead role as arrogant boy band leader Tae Kyung in the new drama, "You're Beautiful" next to Park Shin Hye as Go Mi Nam. "Oh really?! Cool! I loved that script when I read it. And it is icing on the cake that it is Shin Hye I'll be with. It will be less adjustment for me." He says when he heard this news.

So, in the drama's first script reading, he was quite at ease. "See, you can never get rid of me. Even if you dumped me for Min Ho-ssi, you can never get rid of me." He had said to her in greeting when she arrived at SBS' office for the meeting.

"Who said I was trying to get rid of you, Oppa? Other than the fact that it was a production and management decision. Besides even if I did try, you follow around. You can't get enough of me. That's what it is. Just speak the truth."

He laughed at her confidence and knew then that it will be an interesting ride, this drama. Nevermind that Shin Hye and her outspoken self will keep him in check most times, he just knew then that this girl is a keeper, whatever she will become to him.

There is a barrage of many other shared memories swimming in his head but his exhaustion was getting the better of him. So, he begins to doze off into his favorite world, a place where he doesn't need to hold anything back, where with Shin Hye he was free to just be.

~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****

She looks at her clock. She stayed up late scouring the web like an Eel, checking how Keun Seuk handled his latest fan meeting. They made a promise before he left that he will try to keep his mouth shut, especially about them, about her. She knew that was the toughest challenge for this chatty Oppa of hers. He's always had his Freudian slips each time and he's said many times that it was just hard for him not to mention her, that thinking of not mentioning her makes him say it more. So far, she was pleased with what she was seeing. His answers were pretty harmless this time around. But she also feels a slight tinge of pain as she reads Keun Seuk describe what he will do if he gets a Singaporean girlfriend. Dream on, missy, whoever you are, imagining that to be reality. He will not have a Singaporean girlfriend, at least not now. And she laughs at her momentary blip of jealousy.

He should have landed by now, she thought. Oppa, welcome home, she types into her mobile.

"Shin Hye-a, I'll see you in a bit. Just claiming my luggage now. Bogosipo." he texts back in reply only a few moments later, like he knew she was going to reach out to him. Her phone rings, it was him on the other line. She hears the baggage carousel and his staff loading them onto a cart. "Shin Hye-a, I know it's late. Gidaryeo?"

Oppa, what do you mean, wait for you? she says in confusion.

"I'm coming by your house before I go home. To drop off your present"

Can you not do that until the morning, when you've rested?, she asks him since sleep was overtaking her now.

"Well, other than that, I do want to see you. Do you not want to see me?" he pleads to her, unable to mask the slight hurt that she was not as excited to meet him as he was to see her.

Nae, Oppa, I will wait. After all I think you've behaved yourself on this fan meet. You deserve a reward. Shin Hye obliges.

"Haha, now I don't know about that. But, okay. We'll be quick. See you soon!" Keun Seuk says before hanging up.

Shin Hye plays with her dog Bongji's hair as she waits for Keun Seuk to ring her so she can meet him out front. Keeping herself busy, she thinks to herself -- He brought me a present? Trying to keep your 100 points huh, Oppa? Well, you have extra credit by now. Probably about 100 extra credits. So it will be a long while before you ever will need to worry about your points.

She grabs Bongji's ball and tossed it again routinely. She keeps wondering " 'Don't know about that.' What does he mean? Did he get us in trouble again? Aish, these threads are not as up-to-date as I thought they'll be. Seems a bomb is ticking below the surface that I need to prepare for.

Her phone rings. "Shin Hye-a, I'm out front now. Let's make this quick so you can sleep. Thanks for waiting." Keun Seuk says commandingly on the other line.

She peers through her window blinds to confirm. She comes down the stairs excitedly but tries to calm her heart. Compose yourself Shin Hye. You're too giddy.

A little bit calmer she comes up to him, Where is it Oppa? she demands.

"Almost a week without seeing each other and that's how you greet me? Aish, Shin Hye, I really think I'm on a one-way street now." Keun Seuk says partially joking.

She gives him a smile. No, I'm just too excited to what you've brought back for me. Because I bet it means a lot. That pacifies Keun Seuk.

"Here. It's nothing big." She opens the small box he handed her and sees a bracelet that looks like it matches the star necklace from the drama.

Wow, you got this from Singapore. Kamsahamnida, Oppa.

"Yes, I saw it in one of their jewelry shops and it reminded me of you, so I bought it right away. Shin Hye, I spent half a day on a beach on Sentosa Island computing the exchange rate after I bought that. Haha, thought you should know."

She smiles. So, that's what it was about. What you were thinking of on those beachside photos that came out on your fan threads. And I thought you were thinking of me. She makes a sad face.

"Come to think of this Shin Hye. Thinking of the tax and exchange rate of something I got you is similar to thinking of you. So you are technically correct. Besides, here, I might lose this so you go keep it." He hands her a piece of paper.

Customs Declaration. Shipment. Singapore. Seoul. The only words that register to Shin Hye as she read the piece of paper. What is this Oppa? You mean there is more?

"Nae, you will see in a couple of days. I hope you like them."

Wow, you must have gotten us really in big trouble to be giving me advanced peace offerings. Spill it Oppa. What did you do? she says astonished at all the efforts.

"Should I have done bad stuff for me to want to give you things? And besides you'll also know in a few days when the threads start buzzing about them." Keun Seuk says matter-of-factly.

He continues, "Shin Hye, it's just my way of showing I do remember you when I am away. In fact I remember you more than I am allowed to. They may keep me from saying what I want to shout to the whole world, but they can't keep me from feeling my feelings. Let that stand as my promise"

But Oppa, I want to also remind you that I don't want to be a kept woman. I don't like receiving glamorous favors as sometimes it makes me feel my trust is being bought. I'll accept your gifts this time, and thank you wholeheartedly for them. But can you lessen them next time Oppa? Please? she requests from him.

He nods and thinks to himself "This is why I keep falling."

"Gureom, Shin Hye-a, time to sleep. Thanks for meeting me. Annyeong! I will see you in a few days for the Garden 5 CF. Don't be late. Now, you go in first." he bids her goodbye.

Gire, kamsahamnida, again for everything. And whatever trouble you caused us, I'll be ready for them. My silence should be enough to quell the rumors. Oh, wait they're not exactly rumors. But whatever, you know what I mean. Hah! Good night!

She walks back into her home. Keun Seuk watching her walk away, wishing her safe as he glimpses at her vanishing back. Ah yes, that was another thing that has changed about him. From a guy who wants to see his girlfriend waving at him as he leaves, he's turned to the boyfriend who wants to capture every last visible memory of this special person.

As he goes on the short five-minute ride home, he thinks to himself that he still does believe in love at first sight. Because every moment with Shin Hye is new. The many things he discovers about her in their every meeting is like that of a first love, a first meeting. And yes, for this girl, he is smitten, in love at first sight, over and over again.


Note: **Definition derived from Paulo Coelho's The Zahir.