Coming of Age

***This one is meant to be an edit for "Camera" but had a life of its own altogether. This entry is inspired by Sukkie's latest message on being young. You can read it here (cr: shiro @ soompi and muse at Cri J)***

It was a day of celebration for Shin Hye. After all, it took only 20 years for her to get rid of the "1" number in her age. And now, on this fateful day, the world officially recognizes her as an independent individual, an adult. She feels further accomplished as she learns that in a press poll she came out as one of those 2010 "agecomers" projected to be successful, along with Lee Hong Ki, her everdearest chinggu.

Furthermore, it brings her such anticipation as she is made to feel that the 3-year age gap between her and Keun Seuk is now officially starting to narrow. "Now who are you going to be calling 'kid' now Oppa? This girl is now formally a woman." She thinks to herself as she prepared for the day's celebrations. Mostly the day was going to be with her family, since that's what it was for anyway. Keun Seuk had informed her that he will make it late since he still had his university event organizing to take care of. I will not miss today for the world, Shin Hye-a. But I guess this time, the saying 'better late than never' applies. I will be there, count on it, he had told her on the phone that morning. And whatever they say to people at this stage, I say them to you. Congratulations on coming of age.

The weather was cooperating that day. It felt like everything was going right for her now -- busy with different kinds of projects including a collaboration with a known Korean pop singer, new friendships formed with sunbaes and co-stars, a steady although still every bit exciting relationship with Keun Seuk and getting to enjoy the kind of private life that's balanced and fun. Seriously, can she ask for any more? Yes, there are days she still feels that everything is falling into place for her a little bit later than she had hoped or scheduled in her mind. But as Keun Seuk pointed out to her once, They will fall into place. They already are. Just you wait and see. Everything will be good. And now on this designated day to feel independent and all grown-up, these words ring true to her. So, she offers up a silent prayer of thanks. After which, she joins her family in revelry. She trusts that it only gets better from here.

At another place in Seoul, on university grounds, a 23-year old boy is running to and from classes and getting everything sorted out for the upcoming school event he was co-organizing. Keun Seuk had insisted to everyone around him that he will do this on his own. It was tough to juggle this extracurricular activity on top of his school and work schedule. But he was also trying to prove something to himself. He gets very touchy with trying to do it his way, since if this gets the unnecessary exposure he wants due to his being a celebrity, he worries that his fans will see him unravel before their eyes. All his youthful imperfections will be brought to light. Being the perfectionist that he is, he doesn't want them to see that. Manager Jun had already asked him why he insisted on running with this all by himself. Well, I want to experience in full how it is to be young. Is it wrong to want that?

Other than this safe answer, another strong reason lies inside him. This whole process is his way to try and narrow the age gap between him and Shin Hye, no matter how small that is. He looks up to her so much - in how she can handle both her youthfulness but still spout wisdom like she had more years to her personal resume. Yes, around Shin Hye sometimes he forgets who is Oppa. Yet, also sometimes he wants to ensure that he experiences the same things she was experiencing , that everyone else is experiencing at this rare point in a lifetime. If earlier on I had rushed to get recognition, to be validated for my work, being with Shin Hye-ssi makes me want to slow down and enjoy life and live the youth that I should, he had written in a journal stashed away somewhere, safe from prying eyes.

It is her Coming of Age celebration that day, and inside him he feels proud of her and inexplicably... anxious. He tries to process where the anxiety stems. Taking a break by a bench on campus, he drinks water and looks up at cloud formations. The weather is nice and gives him the respite he needed at that moment. Everyone typically had classes during this time but this was his free period, so he was lucky to have a little privacy. His mind wanders.

Ah, yes. I feel anxious because today she is inducted into independence and adulthood. I've always been scared of this. That maybe we've met each other too soon. Right now, I can't think of any other woman I'll want to share the rest of my life with, with Omma's blessing no less. But with budding careers for the both of us, I can't be selfish. I want Park Shin Hye to experience both her youth and everything that will make her grow into an even greater woman. I worry that if things fall apart for us at one point in time, it will be tough to get her back since most of the time people really are just given one chance when it comes to love. I worry that she will not be able to date as many guys she may want because of this commitment we have, so would that be like denying her of her youth? His head throbs as the bad feeling sinks in. He can't bear to even consider losing Shin Hye.

Must not lose her. Must do everything to take care of her. Must do anything to help her grow further. With me by her side. From now and always. No turning back Keun Seuk, no turning back.

He knows that it is always easier said than done. Trying to gain courage, he mutters a silent prayer - for steadfastness in his emotions and decisions. Then, his phone rings. It was Shin Hye checking in.

"Oppa, will you still be able to make it later today?"

Nae, Shin Hye-a. Did I not say I will not miss this for the world? I will see you soon. Keun Seuk confidently assures her of his attendance and presence.

"Yay!! I look forward to seeing you later Oppa. Take care of yourself okay? Don't overextend yourself with all the planning and stuff. Till then!"

Yes, no matter what it will take, must not lose her. He thought to himself as he ends the call, her chirpy smiling voice still humming in his ear.

He realizes that just a few moments ago when he made a pact with his conscience, he had also shunned the possibility of him or her dating other people. He may allow both of them some liberties but he intends to hold on to this commitment. After all, enjoying youth comes in many forms. He'll take as many Lounge H organizing opportunities if it meant being able to hold on to what they share. It'll be better than dating others. With Shin Hye constantly by his side? Definitely better.