Camera

"Oppa, gwaenchana?" (Oppa, are you okay?) Shin Hye asks as she notices Keun Seuk drifting away in thought again. They were at her family's living room, supposedly to spend time and study together. But she knows something's bugging at him as he listlessly turned pages in his textbook and watched mindlessly at the TV in front of them.

Yes, Shin Hye-a, what do you mean? Keun Seuk tells her trying to hide his feelings. But he knows he can't hide it. If anything, this girl can see, feel and hear through him. And the last few days have been overwhelming that even the most dense of people is noticing the change in his temperament. His Type A personality is really showing, that side of him that's so reserved, emotional and pensive. It was tough times, especially when his anchor in Shin Hye is also being buoyed by tides of her own hectic schedule.

"Well, Oppa, I've been trying to keep up with how you are since you've been pretty quiet every time we go out or when we talk on the phone. I sense something is wrong and even your fans are seeing it now. Are you on the verge of giving up on what you've worked hard for?" Shin Hye explains the reason for her question. "Do you want to talk about it? At least with me?"

He stays silent for a while, almost ignoring her question. She gives him the space and just continued to watch TV and amid a commercial break, she hears a mumbling by her side. At that point, Keun Seuk had started to let his emotions flow, after all can he be any safer than here?

I've come to a point where I want to not care what they think. I think that's it. They've taken way too much from me. Privacy. Security. Normalcy. Everything. Do I have to keep giving? Don't get me wrong, I love my Eels. But sometimes, I kind of wish I could live the same life as you -- you know balance being normal and being a celebrity. Keun Seuk confides.

With a long pause Shin Hye processes his gibberish talk. "Well, Oppa, I'm not as popular as you yet. That's why I can balance it still. Plus, didn't you want this to happen when you've been doing all those dakchan poses on the FMs and stuff? Didn't you want to conquer the world or at least Asia?"

Yes, that's true. But this time I kind of want and need space. When I'm not in a project or something, I want to be me, as Jang Keun Seuk, the person not the actor.

"Ah, okay, I think I understand now. Well, I think you should do as what you are doing with them about us. You know kind of preparing them for the possibility of an "us" by telling them about me all the time. You should do the same with yourself. You should prepare them for the possibility of a "normal" Jang Keun Seuk. And perhaps even give them a few glimpses of your normal life so they can respect that space." Shin Hye relates but realizes she may be giving unsolicited advice.

Go on, I think you're making a point. Please go on. Keun Seuk encourages her.

"Let's see. You've been saying you're tired of the cameras. Since you're in front of it all the time. So maybe you should try being at the back of it, at least figuratively? I love the camera, but I like being behind it. And if anything, I learned that the best photographers often always have to compose their shots prior to shooting them. So, maybe like a photographer, you should compose your own self-portraits, the image you project to your Eels. Maybe you need to compose those better. This could be happening because you let the actor in you take so much of who you are and fans haven't learned to delineate. So, start showing them different sides of you."

Keun Seuk looks at her, amazed at how her youth is not evident at that moment.

"I'm probably not making sense, huh, Oppa?" she says in response to the question written across his face.

"All I'm trying to say is that from my own experience, I let my normal self take reign. I share my normal life with my fans by way of Me2Day and Cyworld photos. I show them the side of me that hangs out with friends and being happy as just being Park Shin Hye, the 20 year old girl who has big dreams. I guess, in my own way, I try to train them to be comfortable and be happy for me in these situations. So when they see me in it, they respect that and leave me to be who I really am. Like that girl was indeed annoying creeping up to you to take that photo when you were in your private moment. But, I think, maybe it wouldn't have hurt to have given them a smile and a small request to give you your space in school. Or maybe even try to reach out to them as a normal person, not as a celebrity. Make small talk or something."

Keun Seuk tries to say something in his defense. No words come out for Shin Hye speaks the truth.

Shin Hye continues to be passionate in the chance he's giving her to say what she thinks. "Oppa, that's what I do with people when people recognize me and call me out in my normal and private hang outs. I just give them a smile. I get to balance not because I am not popular but because I forget I am a celebrity when I am in that zone. Even if they remember me as one, I don't wear the "actress" tag on my sleeve so I am better able to deal with people."

Then the air fills with dead silence again. Keun Seuk processes the advice he had been given. He's got to admit Shin Hye nailed this one. As she opened her textbook to begin studying, he places his head on her shoulder. "Ah, dongsaeng, since when have you started being such a noona? Kamsahamnida, Shin Hye noona."

He knows that with the sentiments he had just heard, his second day of Lounge H the following day will be a bit better. He'll try to deal with people properly. Act and play nice like the normal Keun Seuk. Forget for a while that he's an actor whose charisma fills stadiums. But there's one thing he won't change during these tough days. Even if the event hype exhausts him, he will still make it a point to leave at 9 pm, too early to be leaving a party. Not because he's tired, but because he'll refresh his spirit, even for a little while, beside the girl who knows how to compose her shots.