Thursday, December 9, 2010


***This is a giant leap, I know. But my shipper heart had StEel in mind when I watched the latest MMM episodes. And my heart was neither empty, envious, angry or afraid. So it must be how it is. I hope it is. This is dedicated to all of you shippers and fans. And yes, to you Mee and Karen, if you ever still read my stuff.***

She had some fans visiting her on set these days and that makes her feel ecstatic. The passion they pour into the thoughtful presents they always bring to her leaves her speechless and in awe. Park Shin Hye must have done something heroic in a past life to deserve such devotion from people she would likewise admire deeply had she not been a celebrity. They had went out of their way, traveled far, defied norms and negative feedback from other people just to see her and to marvel with her the grandeur of the place she is in or to just make her feel less cold, less lonely with the warmth of the smiles they had. These fans were not her family but somehow that day they brought her home.

As thoughts of home came pouring in, while she stared at the small Christmas Tree that her fans brought for her, she remembers Keun Suk. Yes, him, who just that morning texted her that they just finished filming the climax of his new drama and that the second of way too many kisses had already been shot. Hello, pangs of jealousy. Ignoring this, she thought of him fondly. He, slightly more than her, has very devoted fans, as evidenced by the jampacked series of fan meetings he had in Japan recently and even sometimes evident in his fans' reactions towards him and any breathing creature he is paired with. When he was making his blitzy tour of Japan, she wished then that one of the stops was Sasebo, Nagasaki, where she was. But that was wishful thinking. After all Sasebo feels nearer to Pluto than any sign of civilization. Come on, in a highly industrialized country like Japan, you would expect that there'd be some sign of wi-fi somewhere, right? Wrong. And it's not helping her case, as she's lagging in tweets and Cyworld updates. "Bogosipeo, oppa", she mildly whispered to the wind. "I hope you are keeping warm in this cold."

On break on the set of her drama, she sits in her corner, oblivious to the world. She is scrolling her handphone. Thank God for SMS! And she is rereading Keun Suk's messages to her and a thread of messages is what she kept on reading over and over again. They were the messages he sent her that morning. She fondly recalls the funny incident. "I miss you Mary," he had texted at first. Defensively she was about to reply to him for his insensitivity, how dare this mutt call her Mary. But that was before her handphone buzzed again with his continued message "Surprised you didn't I? That message was meant for you, Shin Hye."

A little confused she typed furiously into her phone before it would buzz again, "Mu Gyul is a character I play and Mary is the character Geun Young-a plays. They're people in a story. But in real life if I was Mu Gyul, then Park Shin Hye is my Mary. So, I miss you Mary."

Enlightened at his answer, she turned beet red if he could only see her then. It was mushy and saccharine alright, but it was good mood booster for a tiring day ahead. But he wasn't done yet as another message comes through. "To Mu Gyul, Mary is the one that teaches him a lot of things. The bright side in everything. The long breaths one takes before reacting harshly. The Merry in Christmas. So to Jang Keun Suk, Park Shin Hye is his Mary. Ahrasso?"

Still searching for words to tell him back, she texts back, "Nae, Oppa, komowo. Bogosipeo." (Yes, Oppa, thanks. Miss you.) She was still holding on to her heart, over what she had just read. But seems he isn't convinced as he sends another message. "Kya! I message long ones, and this is all I got as reply?"

She laughs as she typed to reply back "Aniyo. Okay, if I'm Mary, tell me something in the drama that Mu Gyul says to Mary, that is the most honest line you can think of?"

He replies, "Gureomyo (okay), let me think about it. I'll get back to you in 10 mins, Ms. Short Messager."

In the time span he promised, a long message came through in 3-parts. He warns her in the first message "This is the entire dialogue, Shin Hye-a. But I imagined us having this conversation when we filmed this scene." The second message was split in two parts and begins with his note "This is the most honest line in the entire script so far...

Mu-gyul: How many moons do you think it takes to live half a lifetime together?
Mary: It’s probably not possible with just love.
Mu-gyul: Then…loyalty?
Mary: Yeah…with loyalty, it might be possible. It’d be nice if we could last a long time with loyalty.
Mu-gyul: With you, somehow I can paint that picture in my mind…"

And then a fourth message to cap things came through: "Yes, with you Shin Hye. My Mary, I can paint that picture, loyalty, in my mind. Always believe. Be loyal to me. And I will be to you. Keep safe. Annyeong." He had told her almost pleading.

She didn't know what to say back to him, so she didn't reply. They were at that comfortable pace in their relationship now, that he understands when she is a little bit jarred by declarations like what she had received. He had agreed with her to take things slowly. And although his statements are neither too fast nor too slow, sometimes she is still overwhelmed by it. She will have her comeback statement in time, and he had been patient with her, just taking them as she is ready.

The picture of loyalty is such an abstract picture, she thinks. One that has her pondering on the devotion of her fans. After all, like love, being a fan requires commitment. There are those fans who are fickle and there are those who are easily swayed by rumors. And there's only a few who stick through with you. So to go leaps and bounds to see her and make her feel like she's not alone and that she inspires people are gestures she always thought were more than enough. Yes, love is not enough, including love for a star, because sometimes she knows she will disappoint them, with her choices of dresses, projects, make-up or even on-screen partners. There will be those who will incessantly make her heart a little faint as they try to project their imaginations on her and Keun Suk or any random person they want her to end up with. At the end, it boils down to loyalty. Those who would reasonably allow her to disappoint them so she can learn from her mistakes and who would celebrate with her when she had tried her hardest, even if it could fall a little shorter than she wants. To her, those are her loyal fans.

With that thought, she realizes, Keun Suk, with those simple yet meaningful text messages, just became her Number 1 and most loyal fan. Yes, with him, loyalty, is a picture she too can paint in her mind.

credits: dramabeans for translations to Marry Me Mary lines. :)


  1. wow, that's a giant leap yes, but one that made sense. And it tugs at the right places. You did a great job with this, D. Thanks for the update!! -J.

  2. how does one make an emoticon of a wicked but thoughtful smile? i'd have made that, but sadly am technically challenged and lazy. sorry!

    and i thought you don't love shin hye anymore?! bwahahaha!

    you've been to both ends and back and come up sober ey D? or still mildly curious riding the swing? you say she's my star but i feel she is yours too. to look at one girl but perceive another in her place... what does that mean?

    i miss these tales spun with such wit and magic by our earth princess and our jossa! thank you D!!! - hatshepsut

  3. wow, early commenters!! thanks oppa and unni!!

    unni, the premise of the story is that love isn't enough. i may look like i don't love her anymore, but i hope i earn a loyalty card, somehow, nae? :) and yes she still is my Star, too. i just like watching her from this spot.

  4. I'm officially retired from them so it's refreshing and it's such a relief that at least, you, still keep the music playing. :)

    Loyalty? To be able to weave words for this couple long after the YAB curtain has finally closed is loyalty indeed.

    I believed in them. A part of me still does. Especially when subtle reminders like this fic trigger sweet memories of a boy and a girl who met on set and became great friends...or lovers? who knows?

    I like the conversation. It echoes that 'moon' convo in YAB.

    Love is everything. It encompasses loyalty, friendship, respect, passion and faith. But in every relationship, it is indeed loyalty that keeps the fire burning.

    A thoughtful fic. For the fan who uses a brain. LOL. Half-joking.

    Thanks, dot!

  5. LOL! @ Noonas. wow, someone updated. and she talks about loyalty. and since I don't do anything and just read stuff, I appreciate this. really. i can believe it. and i like the mini-lecture on being fans. :P

  6. Love it! Thank you for another great update.

  7. thank you earthprincess..keep on writing, really appreciated it.-nina

  8. Thank you! It is another great piece. I love Jeng Suk's thinking: in real life, if he is My-gyul, then Shin Hye is his Mary! How romantic! You are right, to paint a future picture together, besides love, we need loyality as well. I am so moved by this piece. Hope they Jang Suk and Shin Hye can have a wonderful Christmas together!

  9. What a great read. Thank you for reminding us what a loyal fan means. My shipper heart is very happy. Everyone have a wonderful Christmas and a happy New Year.

  10. Dee,

    Thank you for this update. Loyalty indeed. I just had an episode at the beginninig of this month that questions the existence of loyalty between couples and reading your fic once again had me in tears. I don't know why you have that uncanny ability to have that pulse and all your senses on alert on what is going on around you. I was out on commission for a while reflecting but I am back. Again, Thank you so.

    Tita Girlie

  11. Thank you for this update! You don't know this but I have been constantly coming back and forth to your blogsite waiting for update. And you're one of the few people who inspired me to write again, especially to write my own blog/fanfic for the GeunShin couple. My shipper heart palpitated and couldn't stop beating so fast after reading this. You made it look that they are for real...who knows maybe they are...I've been having that hunch eversince I've become a shipper of them that's why I started the blog. And yes indeed, Loyalty means a great deal especially to a couple who, like SukieHye is living a life apart (at least for a while) and who has their own lives to live as individuals. Thanks again!


  12. thanks again for your fanfic..its been a while...
    i already got over my sukkiehye shipping madness but reading this made me think of my loyalty as a fan..your fanfic made me teary eyed perhaps because i miss the was so touching and it seemed so real...kamsamhamnida...MERRY CHRISTMAS

  13. Thank you for writing this story. I love how it's so believable and close to how we see them as. I miss PSH and JGS together and hope that someday they will be reunited. I know it's been a while since they've been paired up...but I can never forget how they are together...the flirting, the glances, the playfulness...hope that someday we will see their magic onscreen one more time...

  14. it's been a while since i've been here. thanks for this, dot!

    looks like raine just made her steel-ff writing resignation official, huh? saaad, but totally understand. (: so, d, keep it alive for all of us! (:

    and tokki oppa, i didn't miss out on that mini-lecture, too! :P in this area, my confidence in dot never wavered. she will always be one of the reasons why i will keep on believing on two things: thinking fangirls & shipping hearts with open minds. (:

  15. That is...amazing. Makes me really teary.

    Thank you so much, Dot!!! I'm so touched.

    still a fan of your writings, Dot. Don't think I can ever stop being one :)

  16. Dot - Thank you for keeping the shipping alive and burning! Even as I watched Sukkie paired with other actresses, I couldn't help but think it just wasn't the same lovely chemistry.
    I am going to save this along with all the other pieces you wrote. Keep on writing.

  17. All of you was crazy, in sane, mad. And sick..

  18. am sooo very late in shipping these two your ff! why dont you write anymore?

  19. Keun Suk and Shin Hye are indeed fascinating to write about and to read about. I've never missed anything written about them.